LYRIC
Jail (Pt. 1) Lyrics by Lil Dicky, from the album “Penith (The DAVE Soundtrack)“, music has been produced by d.a. got that dope, and Jail (Pt. 1) song lyrics are penned down by Thomas Klotz, d.a. got that dope & Lil Dicky.
Jail (Pt. 1) Lyrics
On stage rapping (Ugh)
Ain’t shit to me I’m a rapper
That’s what I do (Hey)
Young Dave snappin (woo)
The crowd seem to fu*k with me and I like them too
Ordinarily, I might joke around on the stage (Ya)
Funny motherf*cker class clown 12th grade
Sometimes I might overstep my boundaries (Hm)
Do some weird shit believe in the art of the joke (Ya)
In this case I was like
Ayy y’all a great crowd
So as a reward do you wanna see my dick
Crowd went wild now I’m kinda torn
Mid-show soft dick is my worst soft dick
I’m a moron (Ya)
Show your dick show your dick
Whole crowd chants (Shit)
I’m like I can’t but what about nuts (Ya)
People erupt whipped out the nuts cheers
Off stage head up to the dressing room
Five cops waiting in my dressing room
Goddamn D, you blowing up
Look at how they beefing up the security (Ayy)
I was like officers I’ll be okay (Ya)
One cop said Sir you’re under arrest (Ha)
I laughed in jest assumed he was just showing off for his cop friends
Opened some Chex Mix
Sir I’m gonna need you to put on these cuffs
I’m like What
Sir you just exposed yourself
At an all-ages show nonetheless
Wait you talking ’bout showing nuts (Sir)
That’s like a common joke
You never pull out a ball with your friends or— (Sir)
Never (Sir please put on these cuffs)
Wait stop no this is actually happening (Sir)
Wait this is unfair (Sir)
I’m sorry I swear! (Sir)
Please hear me out
Sir you’re going to jail
I’m like Jail
He like Yeah
I’m like Jail?
Yeah
Booked bail
Pay it scared (This is crazy)
Months pass trial (Real trial)
Forty five parents press charges (Oh)
I got a DUI in college (Stupid)
This was not my first offense (Oh my God)
Children were crying on the stand (Stand)
Probably the dorks of their class (You’re a loser)
Now it’s the day of my reckoning
They ’bout to give me my sentencing
Can’t even breathe and I’m trembling
The jury arrived at a verdict (Guilty)
I thought I misheard it (Guilty)
Mama Burd going berserk (My son)
Wait you said two years Your Honor (Yes)
On the bus to Chuckawalla
They got me chained to Roberto
Tat on his face he was fidgety
Shook as can be as we pulling in (Hm)
They take my picture unchain me
They give me my state I.D. (Thanks)
Then they took me to a room
And told me to Spread your cheeks (Ugh)
I was like Like this (Like this)
They like Yeah but rake your nuts
Rake— rake my nuts
Like pull ’em up
Yes (Oh okay)
They made me squat and cough (Ah ah)
Standard procedure I’m wit’ it (It’s cool)
After I finished I had a minute with the guard
Say to him Sir I know this is bizarre
But the whole rape thing is it like real
Is it actually a thing in Jail Or
He like Yeah
I’m like Yeah (It really happens)
He like Yeah (Isn’t it your job to protect people)
Getting walked to my cell (We got a white boy)
Walking through jail (Woo woo woo woo yeah)
Shit is like hell (You dead you dead)
It’s just like the movies (Getting fu*ked)
Screaming and hollering hooting (Fresh meat)
A black guy said I’ll break your back (On your back now)
Hispanic guy ask What that mouth like (I’ma need that)
A neo-Nazi just smiles (Hmm)
We get to my cell
Got a cellmate named Raheem (Hi I’m Dave)
Good dude wonder why he in (I’m Raheem)
Then he asked me what I even did (What’d you do)
I explained the whole thing (Yeah)
Was performing (Yeah)
Showed my nuts (Huh)
Totally innocent like
Well I did it, but it was an innocent act
It’s not a big deal
Now I’m here in Chuckawalla for two years for exposing myself to minors
Woah woah you a pedophile Raheem said
No I’m not a pedophile you just heard the story
Okay okay okay you cannot let anyone know this
Why It’s not a big—
If they find out then it’s over
Over
You raped dead maybe
Raped dead
Let’s just think of solutions instead
Raped dead
In here there’s the Blacks and the Mexicans
Well what about those white supremacists (Heh)
They see that you’re Jewish it’s evident (It’s evident What does—)
The Blacks and the Mexicans don’t have inherent hatred for you (True)
You gotta pick one of them for protection (Who)
The Blacks or the Mexicans (Yes)
Uh I mean I guess I’ll go Blacks right Blacks
Okay
I just don’t know much about Mexicans (I hear you)
Like at home I would hang out with Blacks (Go with blacks then)
Well how do they know I’m with Blacks
Like how do I refer to it
Do I say Blacks (You won’t have to s—)
I feel like it’d be weird if I said I’m with the blacks (It’s not like that)
How is it referred to
Don’t worry I’ll make sure that everyone knows you’re with us
Three o’clock rec ball
Pretty solid courts real good runs
Watched on the sidelines didn’t try to run
Calling for next would be calling for death
Real good black dude roll his ankle (Ugh)
Mexican guy on the side says Ay carumbo
Now there’s a squad, thats only got four players
And in jail the other team picks his replacement
They look around and my heart started racing
One guy is beelining straight up at David
‘Cause they probably think I’m a horrible player
They like All right take this white skinny bitch~
Little did they know I’m a bad motherf*cker on the court
First play hit ’em with a cross up-fake
Next play wide open three like wet
The yard taking notice (Yo)
I take a charge but they don’t even notice (Bro)
Don’t leave him open, his jumper is potent (Ha)
Pat on the back
Feel like a black
Dap dap dap
All the sudden a Mexican guy
Walks on the court and says
Stop the game stop the game stop the game
Gets in my face
Says You know what he did
Everyone’s frozen in place
You know what he did (What’d he do What’d he do)
He raped some kids
Woah woah woah not true I said
He said One was my niece
Hold on I can explain I’m a rapper I was on stage (You ain’t no motherfu*kin’ rapper)
Yes I am (We gon’ rape you)
No I am a rapper
I’ll spit you want me to spit
I’ll fu*king spit I’ll—
You ’bout to get fu*ked pendejo
Listen my dick sucks my dick sucks
Uh that’s just a hook
Remember the name Don Quixote
That’s the guy that will fuck you later
Okay chismoso? (Hahaha)
Then he walked away
I tried to play it cool I’m like Back to the game
Punched in my back (Ah)
Thrown off the court
I’m like I’m with the Blacks (That made it worse)
Smack smack smack
I’m like “I didn’t rape no kids I just showed my sack
You never did that like with your friends (Ain’t fu*k nah pussy)
It was just a joke
I believe in the art of the joke (That don’t sound very funny)
Yeah but you should’ve seen it it worked
They laughed the joke was successful
They whipped my ass (Pa pa)
Now I’m not with the Blacks (You ain’t black)
Lick my wounds in my cell
Tell Raheem all the facts (This guy walked on the court—)
He like Oh no Don Quixote (Yeah)
That’s the most dangerous Mexican (Really)
And now all the Blacks not protecting you
Yeah no shit and by the way
They didn’t take kindly to me saying I was with the Blacks
Well now (Whew)
Now everyone’s got the green light (Green light)
I wish I could make it be right (Raheem)
You’re definitely gonna get raped (Raped dead)
If I were you, I’d learn to fight
I can’t fight I’d lose every fight
Instead of fighting back
What if I offer like willing head
Willing head
I’m like Yeah
Willing head
Yeah
Think about it
Nobody wants to fight (That’s not true)
I would much rather give consensual head
Than get fu*ked up my ass and die
Well it’s not gon’ be an option like that
No no hear me out
What if one day up in the caf’ I stuck a paper on the wall (A paper)
Yeah a sign-up sheet (A sign-up sheet)
Yeah with time slots (What? Time slots)
Yeah for head
You know if you if you don’t rape me
I’ll give you the best head you’ll ever get in jail
And I’ll be such a joy so pleasant
What a great companion I could be (I don’t think—)
This is so smart (Uh)
Yeah! Uh
Then word would get around about the head
And everybody woud start to realize
The second I’m raped that the head off the table
Better than anal
The brothers would kill for this shit Cain and Abel
You’re not gon’ have the option like that cuh
It’s it’s cool when you say Cuh
Like cuz but you Cuh
Where you from Raheem
Man I gotta nap
Oh when you wake then
Caf’ tuna fish (Ugh)
Actually surprised ’cause this shit fire (Hmm)
Usually I’m real picky with my tuna type
Only like my mom’s and Subway’s
Did you guys know
That Subway’s the biggest chain in the world over McDonalds
No one responded
Tap Raheem’s shoulder I said
Did you know that Raheem (Uhh)
He like “What?”
That Subway’s the biggest chain
Bigger than McDonald’s (No)
Waking back to me cell (Ayy)
Just me and the guard I feel greasy (Yeah)
All the sudden he bail (What the fu*k)
Then as I turned the corner I saw Don Quixote (Fu*k)
Fu*k this is it oh my God
Dave you’re so raped (Fu*k)
Thought of my options he started approaching (Oh)
I’m like Quixote relax I’m open to it
Come here
Kissed on his neck
Licked on his ears
Took off his shirt
Kissed on his stomach his chest is so bulbous
But I’m playing my part (Yeah)
He falling hard (Yeah)
I got his heart (Yeah)
I get down to my knees ayy
Tease ayy
Whipped out the dick
(Oh my God so big ah)
Veins everywhere so many veins
Off-colored dick
Darker than I expected
I realized in that moment
I’ve never seen a Mexicano’s dick before
Spit on the dick
His guard fallen
Cocked his head back real slow
And then said Ay carumbo
Plan coming to fruition
I open wide, put the tip in
And I close my eyes and pray to God and I
Bit off his dick (Ay carumbo)
Spit out his dick (Ugh)
He fell to his knees
Blood everywhere
Don Quixote is dead
SONG INFO:
Song: Jail (Pt. 1)
Artist: Lil Dicky
Album: Penith (The DAVE Soundtrack) (2024)
Music: d.a. got that dope
Lyrics: Thomas Klotz, d.a. got that dope & Lil Dicky
